Let’s NOT talk about time management. You know whether you have good time management or not. My time management is regulated but not as consistent as I strive for; I have it, I lose it, I re-find it. The process repeats. Time management will only happen when you have identified and tamed those actions and behaviors that sabotage your time management efforts. So instead of talking about time management, let’s talk about time wasters.
Like it sounds, we are talking about things we do that waste our precious time. Turns out my time management process is interrupted in part by one or more time wasters. Out of myriads of client conversations, I tracked down a list of 12. Since I lose focus on list blogs, I’ll break this down into 3 parts to make it more consumable.
Some of these time wastes are practically the same thing but with a prettier label. You decide which ones echo in your mind.
Slipping Priorities This time waster is solidly opposite of the tenets of time management. It goes without saying that having no priorities is a recipe to accomplish nothing. I commonly see clients with shifting priorities. Changing priorities is not inherently bad but if there is a sequence of tasks needed to achieve a goal, it makes meeting any goal harder. Slipping priorities will pushes the time-frame out longer.
Once tasks are identified and priorities assigned, a client negotiates priorities. There are legitimate reasons to renegotiate priorities: poorly defined tasks, lack of funding, over-commitment, etc. But I have noticed clients also renegotiate favor of the things they want to do instead of the things they need to do. It’s a very human thing. But is also an indicator of a barrier or obstacle within the client which needs to be addressed. So if you are going to miss a deadline on a task or goal, double-check your reasoning. Is it legitimate or is there something else blocking you. Talk it out and put it back on track or put new plans in place that are achievable. Keep the focus on moving forward.
Waiting for Inspiration I claim this one. As I grew older, I found I had suppressed an artistic spirit. Great but not so great. While is nice to find artistic expression, it really sucks when you lose the inspiration for doing something. Sometimes, it is as simple as not knowing what to do and looking for anything to break out of doing nothing.
If this one resonates with you, you have to be able to keep moving forward to find inspiration in other things. Keep visualizing on what your ultimate goal is…your dream. Then make sure what you are doing is progressing you towards your dream. Doing nothing is doing nothing! Waiting for inspiration is like waiting to win the lottery without ever buying a ticket. Inspiration doesn’t find us; we stumble upon it. Waiting for inspiration is also just a fancy way of procrastinating. Get out of your comfort zone. Keep moving.
As a blogger, I am amazed at how I can break my own writer’s block by simply reading or writing something anything. In the time it takes me to write this blog, I will have identified 2-3 more blogs.
Doing Everything By Yourself If this one rings true to you, ask yourself are you someone that 1) hates to ask for help or 2) have to do it yourself for it to be done right?
If the first one sounds like you, you should consider adding another stretch goal to push yourself to actually ask for help. It can be something very simple with a complete stranger but I would recommend you look into your circle of trust and ask someone for help.
Remember, you circle of trust are friends and family that are supportive of you. Ask for some support. They can say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Asking is the exercise not actually getting their help. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if you did get their help! If you get rejected, it probably isn’t really rejection in hardcore terms but more likely a good reason. So don’t take it personally. (Read more about Circle of Trust)
If the second reason describes your excuse for wasting time, the prescription is the same: add another stretch goal to ask for help. The goal is the same to exercise your ability asking for help. The purpose is a little different. Asking for help means you have to release control and assign it to another person.
In order for the help to be helpful, you will need to describe what that person needs to do. You need to describe it well enough that the person can produce the help you are expecting. So focus on creating a clear picture of what the end result should be.
If you desire to be a leader, this is a leader building skill: picking the right person, defining the task properly, ensuring the person has the right tools (e.g. knowledge, expectations), understands the end state desired. You also learn to: lead, manage people, and manage (control) your expectations….and someone actually helps you complete a task.
Being a lone wolf and doing everything for yourself may sound good in theory but we are social animals. Interacting with others is a good thing.
Worrying About What People Will SayThis is a tough one. I believe that we all suffer this one to some extent. No one wants to be talked about poorly. No one wants a sullied reputation. The core of this one is rejection. We all desire to be accepted not rejected.
But some of us are just more resilient than others. And it depends on the situation, too. There is a lot of psychology with this time waster to discuss here and there are lots of self-help books available, too.
So I will speak to this time waster from my perspective and be vulnerable for the moment. This one affects me but not all the time. I mentioned previously about my artistic endeavors. My ‘waiting for inspiration’ can often be that I am worried about how people will judge me.
In my mind, being judged is worse than what people say about me. In my head, I can recall every flaw and mistake I made in my work. If people could hear what I think about my work …vis a vis…they would reject me, too. I went from personal artistic expression to self-rejection in a nanosecond!
And that is nuts. I’m a counselor and I know that’s nuts. But, I found my resilience in looking past my fears. Truthfully, when I do present a piece of artwork for review, I am DONE with it…emotionally and psychologically. Toast. I am glad to be moving on to something new. In reality, people always say nice things about my work. Maybe they are just being polite. It doesn’t matter; I take people’s compliments every time.
Here’s the point. What people say or think about you is not important. What people think about you is NONE of your business. Their thoughts are based on perceptions and you cannot battle someone’s perceptions of you. People are going to think what they want. Get over it.
It is what YOU think, know (and love) about yourself that is important. Worry about the negative thinking you have about yourself. That’s where you need some defensive thinking skills. That’s where you learn to be resilient.
Also, remember your circle of trust. Those are the ones to whom you should listen. If you need corrective action or corrective criticism they should feel free (enough) to have that conversation with you. You need to be open to what they say. That’s why they are your circle of trust.
Worrying about what people will say (about you) is mis-directed, self-centered fear. If this obstacle occurs often in your life, I would recommend finding a good self-help book on self-esteem or getting some brief counseling.
In the next installment of this blog series, I will address these time wasters:
· Not Living Your Life
· Fear Holding You Back
· Whining or Complaining.